Pain, Trial, and Tribulation
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...right? And it sucks every step of the way. I can't say that I am a huge fan of trials and fallout that comes my way. While it is hopeful to think that there is a silver lining, sometimes it is almost impossible to see until you make it out on the other side.
Trials can have huge blessings that come, but when it comes to your self worth, you can't let go of it. Even when you are crying on the floor of your bathroom wondering when and if it is ever going to end. I only know, because I've been there.
You may wonder if God or The Universe hates you. The answer is no, hang tight, the story isn't over yet. I've had many times when I was wondering those exact same thoughts. Some times there was silence from the divine, but in my deepest times I usually got an a distinct impression saying, "I've not forgotten about you." You too are not forgotten.
Trials and pain are there for only one reason, our benefit. God does not exact revenge, curse, or punish someone. It is only our highest interest in mind. These are the greatest opportunities for our self worth to grow and increase. It may be hard to completely believe and trust it.
I'm a data head, so let's look at some research. Richard Tedeschi, a psychology professor and distinguished chair of the Boulder Crest Institute was interviewed by the HBR Idea Cast, episode 749, Helping People Move From Trauma to Growth. Dr. Tedeschi works with people every day that have gone through trials and came out with tremendous personal growth. Some have come from debilitating circumstances to a place of healing and strength. However, it only works if we embrace the pain and grow with it.
You will be scarred for life, there is no question about that. However, how you hold onto your self worth is a completely different story. Through trial and pain, we are being pushed to increase our self worth. Our soul is deepening through this experience.
What benefit could come from a deeper sense of self worth? Good question. We receive from God and The Universe based upon our self worth. Call it building character, if you will. There is something beautiful about those people who have gone through hard life experiences. Their soul has not only tasted, but lived in the depths of pain. They have had their metal tested and come out on the other side. They have proven to themselves that they could survive.
You might feel compelled to play the game "Why Me?" If you seem to be repeating the same trial repeatedly, you have not learned the lesson that is in store for you. Take some time to journal and dig into your soul to begin figuring this out. This is what God and The Universe really wants from you. Take that step into yourself, bear your soul, and find that pain so you can then move to a place of healing. Different experienced medical professionals can help you with this.
You may be experiencing a time where you begin questioning everything. The world has stopped making sense. For me personally, this was me feeling as though I had kept God's commandments, but why wasn't life flowing with abundance? Well, it doesn't work that way. Deep down inside, I felt unsettled. It felt as though I didn't know up from down, and was trying to figure out right from wrong again. Yes, there are laws that God and The Universe follow, but we may be trying to interpret them to fit our perspective.
You may have a block in your body or soul that needs to be cleared. Once you have found that block and made the realizations or completed a clearing process, you should feel a release in your body. You should feel lighter and your heart more open to loving those around you.
Trials come with blessings and it is up to us to understand those blessings. They usually come bearing gifts in the from of lessons or tools. Taking time to journal about every terrible thing that has happened in the recent series of trials and categorizing them as a lesson or tool is powerful to help you really know how your life is being blessed. It will be easier to just avoid doing this, but once you start to really look hard at 10 -20 experiences and more than just past the surface you will cross a threshold of understanding.
These experiences are what God and The Universe wants for you. If you are struggling to really see, try meditating or doing a fast. Your religious tradition may have other approaches. Start by writing down your questions that you are seeking answers for. Fasting is skipping food and water for a meal or two. It allows the brain to focus on a topic and not be distracted by blood flowing to your digestive system. Clarity within meditation begins to come.
You are not alone. While your trials are unique to you, they are not unique. Someone has had a similar experience to what you are going through now. Someone in your network may have been through something even worse. Be open to sharing your story and look for others who can share about their journey. Finally, the biggest blessing to come from trials is holding onto and increasing our self worth. God and The Universe are in control. Your trials do not define you, but your self worth does. Trials are unequivocally the fastest way to increase your self worth. You may lose everything else, but never let go of your self worth.
Let yourself feel, get your ugly cries out in the shower and then don't make the same mistake twice.
To move forward learn to accept where you are. You have to stop pining for the past and wanting things to return to the way they were. Marisa Peel says, "The familiar is comfortable, the unfamiliar is uncomfortable. So let's make the unfamiliar, familiar." Make your new life familiar, there are reasons why God and The Universe have brought you to this place in your life. Acceptance will help you open this new chapter.