If you are here, it is not by accident. You may have low self-worth or just want to improve how you manage your self-worth. There seems to be a famine of self worth, confusion about its value, along with a whole missing conversation about it. Many people have low self-worth and don't even recognize it...after all, I was one!
When you improve your self-worth and take control of it, additional attributes naturally begin to follow and improve life.
Benefits of High Self Worth
- Self love (feels better)
- Increased self confidence
- Standing up for ourselves
- Courage and stepping through fear
- Increased success in life
- Louder internal voice (either deity and/or our subconscious)
- Higher desire for self care (wearing nicer clothes or better hygiene)
- Resistance to taking criticism personally
- Holding oneself and others accountable
- Willingness to take responsibility for failures
- Luck! (yes, people with high self worth are luckier, check out Woo Woo)
Low Self Worth
It is hard to believe in your own self worth, especially when nothing seems to go right...ever. Your hoping that you get a break and opportunity comes. If it weren't for bad luck, you would have no luck at all!
Seeking validation and approval from others. Become a people pleaser. Can also be seen as having low confidence.
Our brains and body are interconnected. Digestion weight and addiction can also be linked to low self worth.
The insecurity can lead to anxiety and depression. May choose to avoid difficult conversations or confrontation.
It is a strange phenomenon, but it is true. Low self worth people tend to have worse luck.
High Self Worth Precedes Success
Yes, having a high self worth really precedes success. At first this may sound confusing, but we only see confident leaders because they have stepped into their worth. People who get promotions, their self worth is at the higher level first and then they get the promotion.
We've all heard the adage, "Dress for the position you want." From an outsider perspective, that is what you may see. However, on the inside you will have someone who has increased their self worth to the level of the promotion and they have internally decided to wear the clothing that fits the role.
Self Worth is Free, (well almost)
Anyone can increase their self worth, they just have to decide they want to. It takes time to build, but once you start doing the work, it feels real. You can't fake this work, but everyone can do it. It starts by believing you can have it and that "You Are Enough." If you don't love yourself, then it is time to start figuring out why you may be blocked.
Your Internal Voice
As you begin to grow your self worth, your internal voice that guides you will grow stronger. This will present in the form of feelings, promptings, pings, or inspiration (downloads). It may come as a spiritual feeling or connecting to God or The Universe. As you follow these, they will grow stronger. If you ignore them, it will grow weaker.
Where Does Self Worth Come From?
For every person it is different and it can be complicated. We can attach it to our job or title, our family name, living our values, our skills or life experience. It can come from many places. However, we ultimately determine where it come from, either intentionally or unintentionally.
If we attach it to one area or domain of our life, and we lose that domain, say our job or a relationship, then we lose our self worth almost instantaneously. We can be more strategic about where we attach our self worth.
We can attach it to multiple domains. Having it spread out makes us more resilient. What is also very important to recognize, is that domains where we have self worth built up is where we will have the most confidence. Whether this is in love which will affect our relationships or our skills and education impacting our occupation, it is domain specific.
AS A CHILD
There is no question that we as parents are going to screw up our kids on some level. Whether it is through some accidental programming they pick up on or something we imprint. We also have some childhood trauma of our own. It may be buried deep and we probably stopped thinking about it long ago. However, its affects are still cycling in our subconscious and we need to find that programming and fix it.
We have to be able to love ourselves. Many people loath themselves because they are dependent upon others for validation and are not getting it. When they don't get the validation, then they begin to believe they are bad. Nothing could be further from the truth. We can, AND SHOULD, validate ourselves.
When we look to others to validate ourselves, we are giving away power over us. Sure, when we are validated by others with praise or compliments, it feels nice. On the flip side, when we are invalidated by others, it can be crushing. We chase after people to provide that validation and it can create a people pleasing behavior.
Self love is also about taking care of ourselves, not being overly critical, being forgiving and compassionate.
It is the hardness of life that also makes it worth living.
Pain, Trial, and Self Worth
Do you feel like there have been times in your life when the rug was pulled out from under you? Lost your job, or were randomly dumped or divorced? Nobody gets through this life without experiencing some level of pain. We all have trials, it is all part of the deal. But how do trials fit in to self worth? When we have a trial we experience discomfort and have two options, either shrink and run away or step up with courage and work through the trial.
We must not take the trial personally as thought God or the Universe has something against us. Sometimes we may feel, "Why Me?" We are being given a blessing, it is just a matter of looking for it. Everything we experience is either a lesson, tool, or gift. Sometimes we have to look harder to see what is being given.
We must hold on to our self worth through everything, it is being tested. As it is tested and we hold on to our self worth, it is hardened. There is also a gift that is being prepared at the end of it, we cannot see it or even guess what it is. Rest assured, it is coming even when it looks very dark.