Why Does This Happen?

In our house we have a policy that we don't reward bad behavior. In raising children this is a critical rule. There was an article written in the 80's called, "On The Folly Rewarding A, While Hoping for B" by Steven Kerr. If you've never read it, I would highly recommend you take the time. In an abbreviated summary and analogy, let me explain how this works. 

Let's pretend you are a new dog owner. Your dog goes poop on the new light beige carpet in your living room. In your infinite anger, you take the dog's nose and shove it in the poop and then throw the dog outside. What the dog receives is the new programming (think of this in a happy dog voice), "Okay, I poop in the living room, I am supposed to smell it and then I get to go for a walk outside!"

There is a clear disconnect between what you the owner does and what the dog receives. This scenario happens all the time. So, now we overlay our concept of self worth. God and The Universe wants us to have high self worth. We are caught in this death spiral of low self worth which is rewarded with harder and harder trials.    

To be clear, God and The Universe never punishes us and only has our best interest in mind. We have two choices, either continue the spiral down, or raise our self worth. Trials are literally a magical time when our self worth is tested but can be elevated rapidly. If we focus on raising our self worth, we double down on it, we will be rewarded. Lacy Philips, with To Be Magnetic, does a fantastic job of explaining why Rock Bottoms happen and how to navigate through them. Ultimately God and The Universe have something better in store for us.

It comes down to this, God and The Universe cannot reward bad behavior. Personally, I prayed daily for God to take away this trial and to help me navigate it. I prayed that I would learn what I needed to learn, so that I could move on. I was willing to stay in a low self worth state not knowing where he wanted me to go. Once I understood I was to grow my self worth, my life finally started to change. 

The Self Worth Institute

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